August 12, 2009

How to Beat the Heat?

I saw this article the other day, "100 ways to beat the heat." Some of them were pretty clever, so I thought I'd share. Of course, some of them were pretty stupid too, and you better believe I'm going to share those...
Most of the ideas were pretty typical "summerish" ideas, like
-go swimming
-nap under a fan
-wash the car

...no creativity there. then we get to some that are good ideas, just things you might not think up off the top of your head.
-take a walk through the mall
-make kool-aid popsicles
-stand under the air vent at walmart

then we cross the line to ridiculous. I couldn't help myself, I had to make comments about each one of these ideas. Feel free to try any of them... just don't tell anyone else.
-freeze your sheets and just before bedtime, make your bed and jump in-- OK, WHO REALLY LIKES MAKING THEIR BED EVERY DAY? ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SHEETS HAVE BEEN UNDERNEATH YOUR FROZEN CHICKEN? THIS CANNOT BE SANITARY. PASS.
-think cool, mind over matter does help-- DUMB. THIS DOES NOT WORK
-watch a documentary about polar bears-- THIS WILL NOT COOL YOU DOWN, IT WILL JUST MAKE YOU JEALOUS
-grab a handful of ice cubes and take bets on which will melt first-- OF COURSE, YOU'RE STANDING OUTSIDE ON THE CONCRETE, WHICH WILL MAKE YOU EVEN MORE HOT. GOOD THINKING
-stand in a bucket and collect your sweat, then water your plants-- RIIIGHT

then there were two that really caught my eye. I might try them, in combination of course.
-put your underwear in the freezer (YES, RIGHT UNDER YOUR SHEETS)
-turn yourself in to the police and sit in a 70 degree jail cell.

make sure you put the frozen underwear back on BEFORE heading to jail.

3 comments:

Ben, Tana, B.A., and Dirk said...

Pretty funny. I have seen people walking in the mall doing laps, pretty good idea. Brooklyn is a doll. We are excited to see you three in a couple of weeks.

Sheri said...

This post made me laugh. Thanks for writing it!

Mandy said...

You seriously crack me up! Maybe you should be looking at vacations instead of ways to cool down. :)