So as I was saying, our warmup for reality went relatively well. However, I underestimated the similarities between running to Basha's for 20 minutes and spending a whole day out.
Because we live so far from a big city, if you go "into town," you can plan on making it a day-long event. No worries, I'm a planner, and very organized. I knew our day out would go off without a hitch. I knew where we would be, and how long everything would take.
Right...
I had an appointment at 10 am, but even after having issues at the gas station, I saw that I would still have a 10 minute buffer to get there on time. (Like I said, totally prepared. You never know what could go wrong on a 1 hour 45 minute drive. I also realized I needed this 10 extra minutes to do Brooklyn's hair. It hadn't been brushed since the day before) By the way, this day required me getting everyone up REALLY early, and having them dressed and fed (Go me!). Thirty minutes down the road Brooklyn coughs and spits up a little bit. Weird, but ok. I find a place to pull off the road and wipe her face (spitting up= 1 wipe). We're all good, that only took 1 minute and 30 seconds. I start off again and two minutes later, I watch helplessly in the rearview mirror as Brooklyn unloads what looks like three adult's breakfast into her lap (puke= half of the remaining wipes). Yum... My first experience cleaning up this much puke without Tim. It's lucky I wasn't pregnant this time.
10+ minute buffer:gone
Clothing for Brooklyn:gone
Car:stinky
Me: frazzled and stinky
So with a naked toddler and no time to spare, I decided I either had to hit the appointment with her looking like an orphan, or stop somewhere to pick up at least a shirt. Her shorts were salvageable, and as long as nobody stood too close and could smell them, or inspect them, they just looked a little dirty. My only option on the way was Goodwill. Not a bad place to grab an emergency shirt. Unfortunately at this point, both kids were asleep, and I was late. I screeched to a stop at the curb, ran inside and picked up the closest children's shirt and paid for it-- all done in 1 minute and 27 seconds. Irresponsible of me? Yes. But what would you have done?
We made it to the appointment, stinky, and with Brooklyn's crazy hair, but present. AND fully clothed! SUCCESS
After this fiasco and a WAY too long appointment, we went to Jen's house so she could re-highlight my hair. She also let me wash the carseat and clothes there... lifesaver! Her daughter and both of mine cried pretty much the whole time. It wasn't what I would call a "relaxing salon appointment for mom". Whatev. I don't know why I was expecting anything at that point.
With fabulous hair (meaning the highlights, not the wet mess/rats nest on my head), all we had left to do on our adventure was go grocery shopping to load up. We narrowed the list of stores to one, I couldn't handle anymore...
Shopping was fairly uneventful. Fairly. Soon after arriving I started to smell something horrendous. It didn't take long to realize that smell was following us... and that it was Brooklyn. Yay... I hadn't brought diapers in, and didn't want to trek back outside to get one because we were in the middle of shopping, so I decided it could wait until we were done. I mathematically calculated the number of wipes remaining and what would be needed, and decided we could just barely slide by.
I got to the register and while the cashier was ringing everything up I got my first glance of Brooklyn's backside. I don't just mean her bum, I mean the WHOLE backside of her body. Poop Poop EVERYWHERE. How she managed to get it from her bum up to her shoulder blades-- well, I'll never know.
At that point, I realized we needed to get out of the store pronto, before CPS was called. After the day I had just had, someone might actually be dialing their number.
We rushed out to the car, avoiding all conversation and eye contact and I started stripping Brooklyn down. Rest of the wipes: gone. How I managed to clean it up with what we had left? Well, let's call it a miracle. Tender mercy.
The day had come full circle, I was once again driving with my naked toddler and baby. As we started down the road I started to laugh. It's a good thing I had only gotten 5 hours of sleep the night before, or I'm sure I would have been sane enough to cry. It was nearly dinnertime, I wasn't close to home, and the day had been disastrous, though productive. Just then Lydia woke up and began to cry. I realized I had completely forgotten about feeding her, and there was no way she could last two more hours. I decided we were going to stop at wendy's to get a frosty, and maybe dinner so I could feed Lydia.
I turned to the backseat to get Brooklyn excited about getting some icecream when I saw/remembered that she was naked. *sigh... How many restaurants like naked people showing up for dinner?
I just kept driving. I pushed it as far as I could before I had to stop to feed Lydia on the side of the road. Luckily Brooklyn was asleep, so it was a good break for me too. It gave me some time to think.
I thought about the whole day and how awful it had been. I thought how much easier things would be without kids. I remembered what it was like to pick up and go somewhere on a whim without a diaper bag. I thought about all of the tears I had wiped, and the noses and bums too.
Then I thought about how I wouldn't give the stinky diapers, sleepless nights, and vomit for anything. I don't get paid salary or even hourly, but my benefits are unbeatable. In exchange for the stinky diapers I get wonderfully slobbery kisses and hugs. In exchange for sleepless nights, I get to hold and cuddle my babies. And there's nothing quite like hearing "I love you" from a two year old.
My girls are the best thing to happen to me since Tim came along. I have my moments, and certainly my days, when I wonder what we were thinking, but at the end of the day, I am so blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful husband and two beautiful girls.
Thank goodness for those moments when we get to stop and think.
